Memoirs of A Teenage Girl(Chapter 7)

Hajimete atta hi wo ima mo oboete iru
Tereta you ni kimi wa
utsumuite me wo sorashite bakari datta ne

Sono shigusa wo totemo itoshiku omou you ni natta no wa
Itsu no koro kara datta kana
Nandaka natsukashii ne

Translation:

Do you remember the first day we met even now?
You looked abashed, hanging your head
And turning your eyes away

I wonder when such a manner became so dear to me
It makes me feel a little nostalgic
Don't you feel so?

The incident was 3 years ago after she met him. He was her very first boyfriend. She met him and he was working as a part-time cashier. She fell in love with him at the first sight. Whenever she was free, she would pay him a visit. At first, the guy was abashed and stunned while looking at her. He found her attractive and started asking for her cell phone number. She was flattered at that time.
She felt that the song was describing what she was feeling. After taking in a big gulp of air, her tears welled up in her eyes. If it wasn’t her, I would be holding his hand, walking on the street, playing in the rain like what the couple was doing now, she thought. The song kept on playing and her tears started flowing on her cheeks after she broke down.
She sobbed and cried out loudly. ‘WHY? Why did they happen on me? Did I do anything wrong? Was that my fault?’ she started questioning herself.
She remembered the incident as if it was yesterday although it was three years ago. How her ex-boyfriend treated her, how she was betrayed by her most beloved and how she was betrayed by her best friend were still fresh in her mind. They were as if rooted in her mind.
She hugged her pillow tightly and buried her head deeply in it. She cried and cried until the pillow was wet soaking in tears.

Memoirs of A Teenage Girl(Chapter 6)

She grabbed the assignment from her friends and ran out from her classroom immediately. She torn her assignment apart, and the rain came falling down. She ran to her house, leaving her belongings at the school. She threw her torn apart assignment into the drain. The ferocious water in the drain washed away those papers and she watched the ink of the papers smudging. Tears were falling down like the rain drops, right into the drain. Wind was blowing her face, her straight hair could not been lifted because it was soaked in rain water. Rain came pouring down as she walked slowly towards her house. In her mind, there was only sorrow.

When she reached her house, she did not enter. She thought her mother would be questioning her for early leaving. She left her house and started loafing although it was pouring. She shivered as the wind blew. Chill traveled into her veins and she felt the coldest of the world, sorrow, sadness…..She sat in a bench, recalling those memories and blaming herself for being so stupid.

A few hours passed by, she went back to her house.

‘I’m back.’ She said while untying her shoe laces.

‘Welcome back,’ her mother replied. ‘Where were you? The school called just now. They said you left the school early without leaving any message. What’s wrong with you?’

She didn’t mention anything. No words were coming out from her mouth. She walked passed her mother and straight into her room.

‘Chinatsu!!’

WHAM! She shut the door before her mother could ask anything. ‘Tick,’ a clicking sound of locking the door followed after the slamming of the door.

She changed her clothes and switched on the lights. Staring blanking ahead onto the street, she was watching the rain pouring down onto the slick pavement below. People were running in the rain. Some without umbrellas were using their brief cases as their shelters. Some couples were holding hands walking in the rain. She could see the girl was grinning while holding her boyfriend’s hand. The boyfriend smiled at her. They laughed at each other and started playing in the rain. She could feel the love between them. She sighed deeply when thinking who would be her prince. There is no prince for me, she thought.

She wanted to listen to some songs, especially Hamasaki Ayumi’s. Coincidentally, the first song was ‘Carols’. The memory of her first love started to form in her mind as she heard what Ayu was singing.

Memoirs of A Teenage Girl(Chapter 5)

Chapter 5

She walked out from the office quietly. The incident before handing in their assignments came rushing into her mind.

Miss Satou gave them 3 months to finish their assignments but she had grouped them into 6 groups in order to lessen their burden. Chinatsu did the assignment all by herself because her members refused to work with her since she was the first at class. She did the assignment without complaining to the teacher because she would not want to get their classmates into troubles and to please them. She could remember she did it till midnight because the assignment was not easy. She was hoping that her assignment would be the best in her class and she did it seriously. Staying up late to finish the assignment was not a new thing to her anymore.

On the very day that her class needed to hand in their assignments, some of the groups had not completed theirs.

‘Chinatsu? Could you lend us your assignment because we hasn’t finished our assignment?’ one of her friends asked. ‘And we promise you that we wouldn’t copy your assignment.’

‘Well, ok. But you do not copy the whole thing or Miss Satou wouldn’t happy about it. Just take my assignment as your reference,’ she told them. ‘And hasten up your speed; Miss Satou is going to enter our class soon.’

She smiled at them while lending them her assignment. After they have had her assignment, they started flipping through her assignment, finding the right page. She trusted them that they would only refer to her assignment but when after Miss Satou pointed out that their assignments are copied work, she started checking out whether if she was right.

Then, tears gushing out from her eyes even more when she saw her friends’ assignments were totally the same as hers. Most of the pages were exactly the same like hers. Her face was soaked in tears before reaching her class.

She placed her friends’ assignments on the table and she away from them before they could ask her anything about her assignment. Her group members found out that their assignment had not been marked and started accusing her.

‘Why did you lend our assignment to them? It’s all your fault. How could you be so stupid?’ One of her group members blamed. ‘I shouldn’t have joined your group. You make us suffer!’

‘Yes, you are totally right. We shouldn’t have joined you at first.’ Another member said.

Those harsh words pierced through her heart. She sobbed in tears and stomped out of her classroom. Why do all of you treat me like this? Don’t you know that it was me that finished that damn assignment? Do you think that I wanted it to happen? Can’t you all see the point? Those questions like thousands of daggers, stabbing her body, her heart………

A song: Cry baby; 爱哭鬼(Ai Ku Gui)

This song, Cry Baby(Ai Ku Gui) is from a Taiwanese artist, Jiang Mei QI (Xiao Mei)




我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的思念

我爱哭
大声的哭
你在身边我敢放肆的哭
电影感人 听情歌我都会哭

我爱哭 偷偷的哭
你清楚却伤我那麽离谱
几句话语 我的泪却止不住
你说分手时候 彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落
来不及哭 只能傻住

我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的思念
看着镜子里面没志气的脸
然後越哭越後悔

我是爱哭鬼
我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己 这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的 为谁

我不哭 我不敢哭
哭只会让视线变的模糊
视线模糊 记忆却会更清楚
你说分手时候 彷佛早就想清楚
留我一个躲在角落
来不及哭 只能傻住

我是爱哭鬼 我要哭掉对你的思念
看着镜子里面没志气的脸
然後越哭越後悔

我是爱哭鬼 我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己 这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的 为谁

我是爱哭鬼 我要哭掉对你的思念
看着镜子里面没志气的脸
然後越哭越後悔

我是爱哭鬼 我想哭掉对你的依恋
我也知道自己 这样子不对
却还越哭越认真的 可悲

These are the pronounciation of those Chinese Words. So, sing along!

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Si Nian

Wo Ai Ku Da Sheng De Ku
Ni Zai Sheng Bian Wo Gan Fang Si De Ku
Dian Ying Gan Ren Ting Qing Ge Wo Dou Hui Ku

Wo Ai Ku Tou Tou De Ku
Ni Qing Chu Que Shang Wo Na Mo Li Pu
Ji Ju Hua Yu Wo De Lei Que Zhi Bu Zhu
Ni Shuo Fen Shou Shi Hou Fang Fu Zao Jiu Xiang Qing Chu
Liu Wo Yi Ge Duo Zai Jiao Luo
Lai Bu Ji Ku Zhi Neng Sha Zhu

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Si Nian
Kan Zhe Jing Zhi Li Mian Mei Zhi Qi De Lian
Ran Hou Yue Ku Yue Hou Hui

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Yi Lian
Wo Ye Zhi Dao Zhi Ji Zhe Yang Zhi Bu Dui
Que Hai Ku Yue Ren Zhen De Wei Shui

Wo Bu Ku Wo Bu Gan Ku
Ku Zhi Hui Ran Shi Xian Bian De Mo Hu
Shi Xian Mo Hu Ji Yi Que Hui Geng Qing Chu
Ni Shuo Fen Shou Shi Hou Fang Fu Zao JiuYi Xiang Qing Chu
Liu Wo Yi Ge Duo Zai Jiao Luo
Lai Bu Ji Ku Zhi Neng Sha Zhu

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Si Lian
Kan Zhe Jing Zhi Li Mian Mei Zhi Qi De Lian
Ran Hou Yue Ku Yue Hou Hui

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Yi Lian
Wo Ye Zhi Dao Zhi Ji Zhe Yang Zhi Bu Dui
Que Hai Ku Yue Ren Zhen De Wei Shui

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Si Nian
Kan Zhe Jing Zhi Li Mian Mei Zhi Qi De Lian
Ran Hou Yue Ku Yue Hou Hui

Wo Shi Ai Ku Gui
Wo Yao Ku Diao Dui Ni De Yi Lian
Wo Ye Zhi Dao Zhi Ji Zhe Yang Zhi Bu Dui
Que Kai Ku Yue Ren Zhen De Ke Bei

Translation:
I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you

I like to cry
Crying out loudly
I’ll cry as hard as I could if you were by my side
I’ll cry when listening to love songs and when watching touching movies

I like to cry
Crying secretly
You knew that I like to cry but you was the one that has hurt me the most
Your words make me crying unstoppable
When you told me that you wanted to leave me, it was as if you have thought of it at the beginning
Leaving me behind hiding at the corner
Having no time to cry but stunned

I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you
Looking at the saddened face of my own reflection in the mirror
Making me cry even more and making me regret

I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you
I also know that crying is wrong
But I cry even more because of whom (you)

I don’t wanna cry I don’t have the courage to cry
Crying will only make my sight blur
Those memories will become clearer if my sight is blur
When you told me that you wanted to leave me, it was as if you have thought of it at the beginning
Leaving me behind hiding at the corner
Having no time to cry but stunned

I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you
Looking at the saddened face of my own reflection in the mirror
Making me cry even more and making me regret

I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you
I also know that crying is wrong
But I cry even more because of whom (you)

I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you
Looking at the saddened face of my own reflection in the mirror
Making me cry even more and making me regret

I’m a cry baby
I wanna cry in order to forget those feelings of loving you
I also know that crying is wrong
But I cry even more pitiful

Crying?? Yes, I love to cry too!! Cry could release depression, sadness, etc. If you feel that you are emotionally unstable, just get a pillow and hug it tightly. Then, cry out aloud!! And before doing that, check your windows and doors. Make sure that they are locked if you don’t wish to let others hear you crying.

Memoirs of A Teenage Girl(Chapter 4)

She sat at her desk, looking at her test paper blankly after Miss Satou left the class. Thousands of questions were storming into her mind, asking the reason she got only 7 marks. And the only answer was, Miss Satou did not like her because she was a nerd.

‘It must be a mistake!!’ Aiko exclaimed. ‘How could Miss Satou being so unfair to you?! I shall ask her. Wait…’

‘NO! I think I did something that had provoked her. If you confront her, your mark will be deducted,’ she said while pulling Aiko’s hand.

‘But you don’t really know the reason, do you?’ Aiko asked. “Let me check it out. You don’t need to worry about me, Miss Satou treats me very well.”

‘NO!! I think she gave me that sort of mark is because I’m a nerd. Never mind. I’m fine with it,’ she insisted while wiping her tears.

‘Chinatsu!!! Miss Satou wants to see you in her office,’ her class monitor shouted. ‘Miss Satou doesn’t seem to be pleased.’

She quickly used her blouse to wipe away her tears, pretending that she did not break down in tears. Then, she walked out the class towards the office to see Miss Satou.

At the office, she saw Miss Satou was sitting at her table, flipping through the assignments done by her class. She comforted herself and she checked her face as if it had tears on it. Cautiously, she knocked the door.

‘Teacher, is there anything that I can help you?’ she asked and forced out a smile.

‘Your assignment and some of your classmates are completely the same. I don’t wish to mark your assignments anymore and please take back your assignment and your friends too. I don’t care who was dishonest. Just take them back and I don’t wish this incident to happen again.’ Miss Satou handed her assignment and her friends’ to her.

‘But teacher..’ she tried to explain what had happened.

‘No buts,’ Miss Satou interrupted. ‘And this is a warning to you all.’

‘Then, I’ll give them back to my friends,’ she said while taking those assignments from Miss Satou. ‘Thank you, teacher.’

She tried not to break down in tears in front of Miss Satou but her tears could not obey her order. She hid her face and swiftly turned away from Miss Satou. Looking at her half-marked assignment, hot tears started streaming from her red eyes. In her mind, countless questions kept on coming in. Why did she refuse to listen to my explaination? Didn’t she know that I was the first in class in exams? Do I need to copy others’ work? Why didn’t you get it?

Memoirs of A Teenage Girl(Chapter 3)

After a few seconds, they could hear the loud clicking sound of high-heels hitting against the ground, coming from the corridor. They wheeled around to their desks quickly, knowing that her teacher, Miss Satou would be entering their class. As they thought, their teacher entered the class with a stack of their examination papers. They stood up and wished their teacher. She placed the papers on the table and said: ‘You guys did a very good job in my paper and I will announce your conduct marks after distributing the papers.’ The boys cheered loudly while the girls discussed who will be the first in their class.

Aiko turned her back to face Chinatsu’s. ‘You’ll get the first place. Trust me. And your conduct mark would be full because you are good at class. . Then, FIRST PLACE!!!!’ She exclaimed and smiled at Chinatsu.

‘But I think that Abe would be the first. He did pretty well in several papers. Previously he was the second and now he would be the first.’ She tried to convince Aiko that she would be the second because the lack of confidence.

‘No way!!’ Then, Aiko calculated Chinatsu’s and Abe’s marks. ‘See?? Your average mark is much higher than Abe’s. I don’t think that you’ll get lesser mark than Abe in the paper that Miss Satou is going to distribute.’ Aiko compared her mark and Abe’s mark by showing the figures.

‘Hope so….’ She sighed deeply.

She was aiming for the first place in her class in order to get closer to Koike. She was in second class whereas Koike was in the first class because Koike did better than her. If she achieves good result in the exam, she would be studying in the same class as Koike’s. She wished that she could hold his hand and walk with him one day because she liked him so madly.

‘Chinatsu!’ ‘Abe!’ ‘Aiko!’ Miss Satou shouted out their names.

Chinatsu walked to Miss Satou nervously. Her heart was pounding in her rib cage. She prayed that she could achieve a higher mark than Abe. At the moment she saw her mark, she grinned. ‘78/90’ was written on her paper. Another 10 marks would be her conduct mark. After asking for Abe’s mark, she was a little disappointed because Abe got 82.

‘Never mind. Abe is very noisy at class and surely, you’ll get full mark and he’ll get less than mine. Miss Satou is a very strict teacher. She would deduct his conduct mark.’ Aiko tried to comfort her.

‘Chinatsu!!’ Miss Satou looked at her. ‘7 marks.’ Then, she turned to Abe. ‘Abe!! 10 marks.’ After listening to the announcement made by Miss Satou, Chinatsu was disappointed.

‘WHY?? WHY??’ she asked herself while tears welled up in her eyes after making sure that it was only her who got 7 marks in her class and all her classmates got 10 marks.